When Goals Don’t Help You — Why Mastery Beats Performance for Real Growth

In 2024, my daughter competed at Crufts for the first time in Agility. You know, that joyful sport where dogs race through jumps, tunnels, and see-saws, tails flying and hearts full. Running on “The Green Carpet” is a big deal in the dog agility world—and she was there.

Of course, she secretly hoped to win and make it to the main arena in the afternoon. Who wouldn’t?. 

But we didn't set a goal. Not THAT goal anyway.

The Trouble with Performance Goals

That kind of goal—“to win at Crufts”—is what we call a Performance Goal. These goals can be useful. They offer short-term motivation and help measure progress. Riders and handlers often set them:

• Riders: “To get a clear round at 70cm” or “To score 70% in a prelim dressage test by August.”

• Dog Handlers: “To nail the weave entry first time” or “To get my final agility win and move up a grade.”

But when used in isolation, performance goals can backfire. Here’s why:

1.  It's not within her control she can't control how others perform and so even her best run and time could be beaten by someone else.

2. They’re binary. You either win or you don’t. That repeated “failure” can chip away at confidence Read here for How to fail well!

3.  They can overshadow progress.  All the emphasis would be on winning, if that didn't happen she may forget how far she's come to get here and celebrate that amazingness.

4.  It's short-lived  If she HAD won (and achieved that goal) the feeling would have been AMAZING - but short lived. It's done, complete. Now what? This surprisingly can also lead to de-motivation. (Bit like post wedding blues) as you sit with the "What next" to get that dopamine hit again.

5.  Inflexibility - Life circumstances change, curve balls get lobbed. These rigid goals don't allow for life to happen.  Having a rigid black and white goal can lead to disappointment when things get in the way of that dopamine shot you are chasing.

Here's what to do instead…

Work with a combination of Performance Goals AND Mastery Goals.

Mastery goals goals rooted in long-term growth, learning, and connection. They sound softer, but they’re powerful:

• “To be the best partner I can be to my horse.”

• “To be the most fun, connected dog handler I can be.”

 These goals aren’t about outcomes. They’re about who you’re becoming.

Performance goals still have a place. They’re mile markers on the journey to mastery. But with mastery as your compass, every experience becomes a chance to learn—not a pass/fail test. There is no failure. "I Succeed or I Learn something to help with my journey to Mastery"

Back to Crufts…

Her mastery goal is clear: To be the best handler she can be for her dog.

Her performance goal for the day? To not get eliminated

During the run, her dog jumped the wrong fence. (performance goal FAIL!) If her only goal had been “to go clear or not get eliminated,” that moment would’ve felt like a crushing failure.

But instead, she watched the video in slow motion. She looked at how she’d miscommunicated. She asked, “What can I learn? What will I do differently next time?”

Yes, there was a flicker of frustration. But it passed quickly. She shifted into learning mode. That run—elimination and all—brought her one step closer to mastery.

It wasn’t a fail. It was progress.

Your Turn

So… what’s your Mastery Goal?

Who do you admire? What kind of rider, handler, or human do you want to become?

Set performance goals to keep you motivated. But let mastery guide you. That way, every outcome becomes fuel for growth—not just a fleeting dopamine hit or another reason to beat yourself up.

“Learn how to shift from performance to mastery goals with NLP and mindset coaching.”